Tag Archives: smitten

peas and carrots

2 Jan

New Year. Fresh Start.

I had the entire week off last week. It was absolutely glorious! Not only did I get to spend time with my family and friends but I also spent practically every day with “3D”. Like…every single day. Minus Christmas, of course but yeah…pretty much spent the entire break together.

It’s freaking crazy! It didn’t occur to me until someone asked but we have been dating for a month now! It’s been so pleasant. I’m actually really happy we got to spend the week together – sans work, sans worries.

For those curious – the brunch with my sister on Christmas Eve went swimmingly. Granted, my sister and I were hungover (her more so) but we all had a grand time. I even got the stamp of approval from my sister who stated that he is the guy version of me.

He even came to my post-holiday game night.
And we hung out at his new place.
And we were lazy beach ones.
And he crashed at my place.
And we spent a few days at Lake Arrowhead together with my friends!! (If we didn’t go to Arrowhead we were actually thinking of driving up the coast and getting lost in the Bay Area).

But let’s back up and revel in the fact that this dude has spent so much time with me AND my friends! Like…that’s HUGE! He’s even met my sister. AND he almost met my mom. HE WANTED TO MEET MY MOM!

And can we also pause at the fact that he and I spent a weekend away together?! Full on vacay status with this dude. WE ARE A FUCKING COUPLE! Not gonna lie. I am actually diggin’ this. I thought it would be weird but we are so comfortable together that it was not awkward. I never felt like I was “trapped in the woods” with him.

Common themes: everyone has come up to me on separate occasions and mentioned how we look cute together. My friends also love him. And everyone has told me that they genuinely sense that he is so into me. This makes me happy because I actually like this fella’. It’s also obvious that this dude CANNOT keep his paws off of me. I mean, I do the same but he is sooo touchy feely. The funny thing is that I typically cannot stand PDA. But I find myself leaning into him more, letting him take my hand, kiss the top of my head, and just plain ol’ hold me like I’m the only thing that matters. And he holds me in bed without making me feel smothered. I don’t find myself setting a timer in my head for cuddle sessions. WHO HAVE I BECOME!?!?!

 

Did I mention that we pretended to be married at Arrowhead? We had to fill out some forms when we went snow tubing, and the adult forms had lines for “Adult” & “Spouse”. He totally played along and even let me sign with his last name. I hyphenated, of course, but can we pause again at how this did not feel weird at all for him or me?! We even joked about me taking half of everything. “What’s mine is yours.”

We didn’t spend New Year’s Eve together. We briefly discussed it but both agreed that we should do our own things. Plus, he hadn’t seen his friends in forever so I couldn’t force him to be part of my group yet again. While I was a bit bummed about it I was ultimately glad we did our own thing. He did text me at midnight ON THE DOT to wish me a Happy New Year. I had told him earlier that day that I would do the same, maybe even call him. But I didn’t because I was too occupied. And when I looked down at my phone I felt like such an asshole. I texted him back and let him know I was late but that I missed him. And I did. It was kinda funny how everyone was asking about him, wondering why we weren’t together. We wanted to do our own thing! Ain’t nothing super wrong with that. Right?

However, I did feel a bit horrible because right around midnight I had spotted my unrequited love across the room at the party. And he saw me. And his face lit up as he rushed over to where I was standing. We looked at each other, smiling, and counted down for our epic reunion. “3, 2, 1” and I was in his arms above the ground. It hurt so good! We professed that we missed each other’s faces, that we still loved each other’s hearts and brains. He told my friends about our divorce. The divorce that still lingers in my blood.

In addition to opening up old wounds I also found myself enjoying the attention I got from the dapper fellas at the party! I was on fire! And I was so close to straying a bit too far but I stopped myself because it 3D did the same thing I would be devastated! DAMN THAT DOUBLE STANDARD!!

Which brings me to the new question popping in my head: What are we doing?

I don’t think he is dating anyone else. And I’ve mainly been seeing him over these past few weeks. I haven’t even had the urge to log on to OKCupid despite the many messages and alerts I’ve been receiving. So what now? Am I supposed to bring something up? Is he supposed to bring something up? I “committed” to a date or two with some other folks before the break. Do I cancel them? I want to but part of me wants to still go on them…but it would only be to tell me what I already know. Gah!

Today was the first day we didn’t really talk all day and it made me a bit uneasy. WHO AM I BECOMING?!?!

That was my holiday break with the dude in a nutshell. More nitty gritty to come when I am not so brain dead.

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Come Here. Stay With Me. Stroke Me By The Hair.

18 Dec

I’m sitting at this laptop still in the same outfit I was in yesterday. Just a bit more disheveled.

So yesterday happened! I made my way to the West Side. ZOMG remind me to find a better way to get there if I continue to see 3D because dumb traffic is just dumb.

I get to his place and arrive in the midst of moving chaos. Him and his room mates are in the process of moving out so beds and box springs were everywhere. I got to meet the roomies (yay).

Upon arriving 3D presents me with a gift bag. Before I headed over he asked me if I liked chocolate. Turns out his friend is a chocolatier (sp?) and he was giving me some home made chocolates. It was really sweet when I saw the note: “Don’t Get Sick. xo”. I had told him that I love chocolate and all things dairy but can’t eat too much because I am lactose intolerant. So that little note was perfect.

After chit chatting with everyone for a bit we got in his car and drove to 3rd Street Promenade. Our plans to bike ride at the beach were foiled because of the on-and-off rain. We ended up roaming the stacks at Barnes & Noble, discussing different books, and then reading for an hour in a quiet corner. I mean, c’mon! This was such a comfortable date thing! He is even starting to read “The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao” because I suggested he do so. It’s one of my favourite books and I loved looking over and seeing him smile and laugh to himself. I was a bit skeptical about us just hanging out in the bookstore but it was probably the most relaxed I was all day because we were finding time to do what I wish I had more time to do. And we were doing it together. (Vomit inducing, I know.)

Afterwards we were on the hunt for dinner. Steamed mussels to be exact. We finally found a place that had them. Plus, it was a wine bar to boot! (By the by, Sonoma Wine Bar is tres adorable!) We sat out on the patio under the protection of umbrellas and heat lamps. The rain was not going to put a damper in our evening!

Everything that came out of our mouths made us think that it was fate that we met. We even neurotically  adjusted our wine glasses on the table to ensure they were symmetrical with the grooves on the tabletop! (Don’t ask.) He also told me about how he talks about me to his friends (and physicians who bring me up on his visits…I know right?) I think the best part was when he asked me if I noticed anything from the pasta dinner party. I tried to pretend like I had no idea what he was talking about. But yeah…I confessed that that was the funniest thing that could have happened at that moment. (Yeah, we totally brought up the condom falling out of his camera bag situation.) We were laughing so hard because it was so bad that it made it so good! We were both glad we could laugh about it, though, especially him.

Then the conversation took an awkward turn.
ME: Yeah, I thought it was weird that you were prepared to take me to bed but hadn’t even held my hand yet.
HIM: Hmmmm yeah, well this may not make it better but that condom was not in there for you.

[CUE MY HEART FALLING TO THE DEPTHS OF DESPAIR. EGO DEFLATING FASTER THAN FUCK]

ME: Oh…yeah that doesn’t make me feel better at all
HIM: What I meant is that I had condoms on there from a while ago…before you…and I forgot they were in there.
ME: Oh…okay.

And I didn’t know how to feel at that moment. I mean, he does wanna jump my bones, right?!

After dinner we head back to his place but make a pitstop at Yogurtland. However, we get sidetracked and enter the Giant Robot store and purchased random knick-knacks.

Back at his place. No one is home. Perfect. We hung out in his room, browse through his art books, have show-and-tell with his bike gear (the fact that he is so passionate about bikes and how things work is so hot), and he even played me the soundtrack to the bike ride that we never had that day. I loved it, and could picture badass him up front with speakers blasting from his backpack, and dainty me peddling behind him. Picture perfect. Makes me sick! 🙂

I rummaged through his stuff and found a level. I proceeded to check to see if things in his room were level. Even us. 🙂

I lay down and rest a bit because I am tired and a bit tipsy from the wine. At this point he is so late for meeting up with his buddies at karaoke. I felt bad but part of me just wanted to stay there in his, curled up next to him. He smelled so freaking good and was the perfect temperature. (I hate when guys are way too warm and you start to get uncomfortable from the combined body heat). And it felt so good to just be in his arms. I didn’t feel as bad when he said that he liked “this”, just laying there, talking, asking me questions, getting to know me.

I couldn’t believe it but it felt right for me too! Who am I becoming?!?!  Minutes turn to hours. He’s obviously not leaving for karaoke anytime soon OR AT ALL. I am obviously not going back home to finish up some work. So why not let the make out session begin? And boy did it! We probably were in that bed for a couple hours just, well, making out! I was taken aback at how sweet it was. No attempt to go under my unmentionables. What was happening!?!? I even took off my tights to make it easier for him but nope. Not a move was made under my bra or panties.

a.) wow. this guy had major self control
b.) wow. is this the first time since HS that a guy was not going to make a major move during a MAJOR MAKE OUT SESSION?!I think my HS boyfriend moved faster than him!

Seriously. I should not bash on his gentlemanly ways but man, how was that possible?!?! We’re adults here! Let’s do adult things! Of course I started to get self conscious and held back from reaching down his pants because it seemed like he wants to wait.

Let’s just pause again and marvel at this man’s self control! I am practically ready to let him have his way with me but he was standing his ground! Frustrating but sweet at the same time. He was obviously into it but definitely. holding. back. Ahhhhh okay, if he wants to wait then we will wait. But if I had balls at that moment they were most definitely blue.

I later told my best friend about it this morning.

Okay, I may not be overtly sexual on the outside but I need someone who can also take the wheel in the bedroom. I need that throwdown. As horrible as this may sound I would be very sad if I didn’t have that balance of “awesome dude” and “awesome in bed dude”. I need that full suite of services, man! The complete package! And I think he is good. The whole gyrations in the hip area were very sensual. I mean, if he can move that well then maybe I have nothing to worry about. All good things to come, right? (Again, it was total HS humping above clothes. Hot. But…ugh.)

Anywho, make out session was still pretty hot and fun. I foresee another case of beard burn. I love dudes with facial hair but it really pulls a number on my face.

It’s almost 2am at this point. No way I am in the mood to drive home but I think he was already expecting me to spend the night. He even started to look for a spare toothbrush for me. WHAT THE WHAT?!?! When he thought he didn’t have one he even offered to go to the corner store and get me one. WHAT THE WHAT?!?! Who was this guy being so fucking sweet to me!?

He eventually found one. Before handing it to me he inspected the box to make sure that the brush had soft bristles, not medium, because he didn’t want it to hurt. WHO. ARE. YOU.

I even got to wear one of his shirts. He got me water. He even happened to have some Hello Kitty boy shorts for me (don’t ask.)

(Oh side note: earlier in the night I got to try on some fun and cute tiger PJs of his. How do I not own my own pair with the hood and everything?!)

This dude is a weirdo. A quirky weirdo just like me. This could be both good and bad. Can a couple have two wild cards? Is that even legal?

We brushed our teeth together. Watched some TV before bed. He made sure I was warm enough.  Then we cuddled some more. He would just stroke my hair, kiss the top of my head, and hold my hand. He would also ask me different questions about, well, me. “I can’t help but want to get to know more about you.”

This was so couply! I couldn’t believe it. It’s like just happening organically. It’s all super nice but I am not gonna lie. I am scared as fuck! I know that I just need to chill the fuck out and take everything as it comes. But ZOMG I am both thrilled to the core and scared. Many people will tell me to just be thrilled, to not overthink it. But I can’t help it. This is major, right? I don’t normally do relationships and here I am practically on the cusp of one. I keep thinking I should date a few more dudes. I mean, that was the point of getting on OKCupid – to date a bunch of dudes and experience this random social experiment.

CUE BURYING MY FACE IN MY HANDS

I am happy, though. He helps me pull away from my status quo, and I need that. I have been focused so much on my career that I continuously just told myself that I didn’t have time for a dude. I don’t really make much time for anytime else but work. But it has left my personal life and health in shambles. Could it be? Am I actually attempting this work/life balance I read so much about?

 

Crashing the Party

16 Dec

How I am up at 7ish in the AM post company holiday party is beyond me. I apologize in advance to what could be a lame post by a slightly hungover me. And let me just say that last night was so amazing! My friend and I got all gussied up – got our hair all did, got the face all made up. Seriously, I could get used to getting pampered and dolled up on the regular like that. And the dress my friends picked up earlier in the week was so fun! A ton of investment went into all of this [cue my hand motioning up and down by body]. And that was when I thought (and my friends thought) that 3D needed to see me in all my glory!

Of course we were texting all night then I finally thought, “Fuck it. He doesn’t live that far from this venue so I shall ask him to come by.” And I did. And he accepted my invite! He was finally home, about to have a quiet evening and recover from being sick and in pain from some face procedure. And that was a main reason I didn’t think he would come because he was still healing. BUT HE FREAKING PULLED THROUGH!

Enter my resourcefulness because now I had to find him an extra wristband to get in!

I made my way over to the hostess table and gave it to them straight.
“Look. I gave my extra guest wristband to my best friend. I know all guests need a wristband but I’ve started seeing this guy and I REALLY want him to stop by and see me looking like THIS. I know this sounds stupid but I really like him and just want to see him so bad tonight. So can you two gals help a girl out?”

At first I sensed some hesitation but after much pouting on my end I see one of them dig under the podium and slyly hand me a wristband. HOW MUCH DID I LOVE THEM AT THAT MOMENT! The other girl leaned over, winked and said she completely understood and that she had been in my position before. I enthusiastically hugged both of them and promised to make it count.

About half an hour later the hostess finds me at the bar and asks if I knew a [insert his name here]. He made it! I pranced over to the podium, grinning from ear to ear. He saw me and, naturally, I twirled to give him the full effect of my dress. I must say he was quite impressed. GOOD! All my friends were saying that I was a knockout and I was going to get mileage all night.

Liquid courage was flowing through my system so I grabbed his hand and made our way over to my crew. I was the happiest clam in the bunch because I had my guy on my arm.

We made the rounds. We danced our hearts out. (We were both so glad that we both love to dance). He’d get me water to  keep me hydrated. And when we had down time we’d sneak off to a booth and have mad cuddle sessions. (Later in the night we commented on how we thoroughly enjoyed our cuddle fests. And this is huge because I normally don’t like to be affectionate in public.This was BIG!) There were even moments when I sat on his lap while we watched everyone on the dance floor. The liquid courage got stronger and the inner tiger was getting loose. I’d start to wrap one arm around his waist and lay my head on his shoulder. I knew his face hurt a bit so I prefaced my next actions by apologizing in advance for potentially hurting him. Then I did it. I just leaned in and kissed him! Threshold crossed!

Needless to say we kissed throughout the evening – in the booth, on the dance floor, at the bar. Not, like, sloppy kisses because I am a classy lady in front of my work peers. But I was on cloud 9. My friends were also giddy for me as they caught glimpses of the early stages of awesomeness! (And ohmygawd I can’t believe I was so comfortable with the public displays of affection! Who am i?!?!)

Time to turn in. The dude offered to take me home! But I couldn’t do that to him so I insisted I would just take a cab as originally planned.
“Alright. I will do whatever you want to do.” And that  is when I realized that this may be why he didn’t pay for me on our first date? Because he didn’t want to infringe on my feminism? As I type that out I realize that it sounds so stupid but does that make sense? Whatever.

He walks me to the curb where we were all waiting for our cabs. He held me close because I was a shivering leaf. As I was curled up in his arms he would kiss the top of my head. Gah! I adore him!

Can we just pause and say how freaking amazing it was that he actually came out! FOR ME! He is true blue. Added bonus: everyone loved/loves him. Mmmmhmmmm

#CanIGetARecap: “And if I could I’d just claim you…”

14 Dec

A big kudos to “3D” for willingly throwing himself into the wolves. Actually, my friends are so awesome and I had no doubt that he would fair well in an intimate “dinner party” setting.

For those of you just joining us, I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks now. I use the term “seeing” loosely. What tier of dating is that, exactly? Maybe I should just keep it simple and say, “I’ve been on a few dates with him.” More legit? Okay.

Our third date resulted from an “you-want-to-hang-out-sunday-however-i-have-plans-sunday-evening-but-you-are-welcome-to-come-to-this-dinner-party” kinda thing. I didn’t think he would bite because this meant a third date that would involve my a small group of close friends! That’s serious, right?

3D shows up to my humble abode on time. Gawd, he looked so good and smelled yummy in my doorway. It made me think that he purposefully wore cologne for me because he doesn’t seem like the type who would. However, I could be wrong. It’s nice to think, though. I felt like I was a bit sheepish around him. It both sucks but expected because this is all so new!

We hung out for a bit then headed out to pick up a few things from the store. He offered to drive which was fine and dandy for me because I will not turn down being a passenger. He prefaced this by asking me not to judge him on his car. What is that supposed to mean? I promised him I wouldn’t but then it started to get me worried that he was going to be another guy intimidated by me. So what if I live alone. So what if I drive a yuppie car. I mean, I can be judgey sometimes in jest but I’m a good person. Plus, I like him so I would cut him some slack. 🙂

MOVING ON.

Car talk involved a recap of my skydiving. I had no idea he had gone skydiving, too, so he was able to understand the feelings I was trying to convey. Perffffff

Grocery store time was oddly cute. He would follow me around with the basket as I got lost in the produce section trying to remember what goes into a good salad. There was also a moment in the wine aisle where we were staring at various bottles of pinot noir and I just wanted to take his hand or rest my head on his shoulder. But I didn’t because I’m a dumb wuss!

Moment of truth was starting to creep up. We started to walk up to my friend’s house and I gave him a quick rundown of who I expected to be there, their names, and basic topline info. “The hostess is [x]. Then there is so-and-so who is my best friend. Her boyfriend, X, will be there, too. He’s badass and could kick your ass if you are mean to me….”. You know…stuff like that. The basics.

We enter the kitchen and all eyes are on us. My friends knew about him and were excited to meet the latest boy. But overall the initial intros were nice. He’s super personable so that made it easy.

I was a bit nervous because I wanted to hang out with him but I also wanted to help make the pasta and fixins. Luckily, he was self sufficient and went into dinner party photographer mode. It was really neat to just have him making his way around the kitchen and snapping shots galore. I’d look up and find the camera on me. I’d smile and he’d wink.

He wasn’t shy, really. I mean, he would join the smokers out on the patio and talk with them while I continued to be confused with the pasta making machine. Then he’d make his way back into the kitchen and stand next to me. I’d place my hand lightly on the small of  his back and peek at the pictures on his camera. But you could sense that we were still shy and fumbling our way through all of this.

At one point my best friend pulled me aside and gave me the official thumbs up. “He’s really cute and super nice! I can tell that he is trying. And [my boyfriend] likes him too!”

Score! I’m glad my nearest and dearest approves. Regardless, I think he is dope 🙂

Another fun part of the evening was when the hostess asked him how we know each other. I was in the living room and I could hear the words float out of her mouth. My sonic hearing kicked into overdrive as I tried to hear what his response would be. I was also laughing inside because I had jokingly told her to put him on the spot and see how he would answer. I moseyed on over to the kitchen where they were and helped them out a bit.

HOSTESS: So, he was just telling me how you two met. Space camp, eh? That’s so interesting!

SIDE NOTE: I had jokingly told HIM that he should tell people that we met at Space Camp just for shits and giggles.

ME: Oh yeah, his dad and my dad knew each other from the military. See “3D” is from Florida and his dad was in the space program. My dad would let me tag along to Florida with him. And he was there. We go way back. Then I find out that he is in LA and decided to hang out.

The Hostess was impressed by how well we were continuing this facade. I’m glad everyone held rank.

Later in the evening once everyone started to trickle out for other engagements and whatnot I found myself on the couch next to him. The hostess and another friend (who had arrived late) joined us in the living room and we just talked for a while. At one point him and I inched closer together, and he took my hand. WHAT?!?! Finally!

He was telling me how he loves giving massages so he started to massage my hand and rub my shoulders. Actually, he was rubbing my shoulders and back throughout the night which was really sweet. I love massages. Way to my heart….and into my pants! Heyo! I got tingles! That first touch is always a big deal!

The hand massages turned into hand holding for the rest of the evening. It was very…sweet. Simple, you know?

As we were leaving the hostess took his camera and wanted to take a picture of us. The collective groans coming from our mouths were priceless! But we sucked it up and posed.

As we turned on my street I started to get a bit anxious. What was going to happen? Was he going to come in to my house? Was he going to kiss me good night? We’re arrive at my house and he might as well should have stabbed me in the face when he said, “Okay, we’re here. I guess I’ll just drop you off.”

WTF man! Seriously?? 

SIDE NOTE: I failed to mention that back at the party I was walking passed him on my way to the kitchen. As he was trying to either put the camera back in his bag or take something out you wanna know what happens next?? A CONDOM…FALLS FLAT…ON THE FLOOR! I caught a quick glance of it and pretended I didn’t see as I casually strolled back into the kitchen. But I heard him kind of chuckle a little like a that-was-embarrassing kinda way.

BUT YES! He has a freaking condom on hand because he is thinking about putting his P in my V yet he won’t even KISS ME! I feel like I’ve reverted back to high school where every action is some milestone! I mean thank goodness we got to the hand holding but jeez! It was our third date. You are allowed to make some moves. Even a little tongue action. No tongue? No problem! I can deal with a close-mouthed kiss. Let’s just make contact with some orifices!

Okay, I kid…kind of. Part of me is super flattered and even more attracted to the fact that he isn’t an asshole trying to just bone. And that we should just enjoy this innocent courting. But then the other part of me wants to have a hot throwdown. Just up against his car, my couch, WHATEVER! But then again my success rate after those little hot numbers hasn’t been so great so maybe this dude is onto something.

Needless to say I said goodbye, got out of his car and slammed the door. Then I stomped across my lawn, shoved my key in the lock, and proceeded to yell a bit in my living room. I was FUMING! What was going on?! I started to pace, muttering, “This isn’t right! Is something wrong? Oh gosh, please don’t let me be some untouchable girl in his eyes. I can’t be someone else’s little doll.  THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!”

I grabbed my phone and texted him two simple words: TURN AROUND.
I threw my phone onto my couch, stormed into my kitchen and poured myself a healthy glass of wine. That motherfucker…he is not going to leave me hanging when we both know we are not going to be able to see each other for a while.

Moments later I hear a tapping on my screendoor. And you would THINK that we would just have some mad makeout session right then and there. BUT NO! BECAUSE WE ARE SO WEIRD! WHAT THE WHAT!?!

I let him in and we hung out on my couch. And I start to care less about that madness and just enjoy being there on that couch with him. I remind myself that I am the most comfortable around him than the other boys. The whole time we’re there he takes my hand or rubs my arms, shoulders, legs…
He’s very much into touch. He even asked me if it bothered me. Normally I am not that touchy feely but I actaully don’t mind him. Nor do I mind when he touches base and checks in. We even paused at one point and commented at how seamless this all was, how comfortable and easy everything is, how goddam cute/hot we are! (HA!)

At some point I moved from leaning my head on his shoulder to laying my head in his lap because I was getting really tired. He just continued to rub my back and run his fingers through my hair as we ask each other the getting-to-know-you questions that are always exciting because this is a brave new world.

It was past 2am and we knew we had to end this. I sat up and wrapped my arms around him for our hug. And it was weird because this was the perfect moment to make SOME move. But nothing happened. Just hugged. I got a quick kiss on the cheek. WHY I DIDN’T JUST MAUL HIM RIGHT THEN AND THERE, AND TAKE INITIATIVE INTO MY OWN HANDS WAS BEYOND ME! I’m kicking myself. Maybe he is being polite and wants me to make the first move? Well, sir, I accept that challenge for next time.

Since then we still “talk” every day. I was even just G-chatting with him a few minutes ago for a before-bed check in.

My teasing and griping about our high school style courtship aside things are fucking amazing. And we have tentative plans for this Saturday! It may even be MY turn to meet HIS friends. (gahhhh).

Shit is getting real.

keep your hands (and saliva) to yourself

7 Dec

I’m about to pack up and leave the office in a bit for date #2 with “3D”.

Giddy is an understatement but this evening may bode interesting because I am starting to feel a bit bleh so I’ll have to keep my shenanigans to a minimum. Oddly enough I get a text from him late this afternoon. It did not start off well and my heart actually sank when I started to read that he was feeling under the weather. I thought he was cancelling on me. Cripes!

(BTW How are we the same [sick] person??)

[because time is of the essence, no text message screenshots but good old fashioned snippets of how this convo went down]

HIM: I want to see you and see this movie, but if you can’t afford to risk it I understand. I’ll do my best to keep my hands and saliva to myself 😉

Naturally all I think is, “Man! No make out sesh?”

ME: Well I would still like to see you. We will have to just skip the junior high make out session at the back of the theater (womp womp)

HIM: You drink your martini. I’ll drink my vodka redbull. This can only end well!

Needless to say our date is still a go..
I tell him that he can still hold my mitten’d hand.
I’m also buying him a surgeon mask which he willingly offers to wear if I actually supply one. And I will. And I will need to take a photo of him donning said mask with our custom Sharpie-markered mustache.

My smitten level rises after I have to break the news to him that I may have to work a bit later because he probably said what I kinda consider one of the sexiest things he can actually say to me right now.

HIM: Please, no worries. I can always work more, haha. I dig the fact that you seem so busy actually because my job is often a time suck

UM, did I NOT freaking say this same exact thing HERE?!?! Seriously. This is my foreplay.

He is pretty thrilled that I was so understanding as I let him know that I share a similar lifestyle where I often have to work later and profusely apologies to friends that I am running late.

Alright, off to resist the urge to make out with a semi-sick dude.

#CanIGetARecap? – On Numero Cinco

4 Dec

Since our last installment I had finally peeled myself off the computer, out of my martini PJ pants, scrubbed myself clean and got dressed for success! This is where the “panic” sets in. This panic was more the “Holy shit, why won’t my hair behave? Oh man, my eyes look tired. Ack, this lip color looks weird. Crap, I’m talking to myself too much and now I’m going to be that girl who showed up late to 3D’s lunch date.”

Let’s flashback to earlier in the morning when I was laying in bed, thankful for the lack of a “hangover”, and contemplating where we should meet for our date. We had discussed food and Bloody Marys. I opted for Dusty’s in Silverlake because the food is yummy and it seems like a cute little date place. But it’s not even 10:30am and I didn’t want to send an early text…but the lunch window was approaching…but I don’t want to wake him up! Inner turmoil!! …and at that moment my phone buzzes.

He beat me to the punch! I love it!

I respond back with my lunch suggestion and suggest we meet at 1pm. All good. Then we both joke about being able to continue snoozing for the rest of the morning. Ahhhh yes, another snooze button addict. This could be the start of a beautiful thing!

Of course there’s traffic when I was already running behind. Thankfully 3D was running late, too. Google maps said he was about 10 minutes away.

When I drove by Dusty’s I noticed a guy sitting on one of the benches out front. It was him and, boy, did he look good. (And yes, he was sporting the short hair…extra points!)

Moments later my phone buzzes. He’s letting me know he made it in 10 minutes just as Google maps predicted. I illegally texted him back letting him know that I just drove by looking for parking and saw him. Busted!

It finally started to hit me that this date was about to go down. I needed a boost, something to pump me up even more, something beyond the Beyonce that I was blasting on the way over! And I got it in the form of compliments from total strangers walking alongside me on my way to the cafe. This smooth gent started to chat it up with me at the crosswalk then he paused in the middle of his orange peeling. “I just have to tell you that you are a fine lookin’ lady. I saw you walking behind me and I thought how damn cute you look. Then you opened your mouth and started talking to me. You sound good! Thought I’d let you know.” Thanks, man. That was my fucking “Eye of the tiger” moment I was looking for!

3D sees me crossing the street then he smiles and waves. ohmygawdheissocute. The smile. The kicks. The outfit. The height. The body. The right amount of scruff/facial hair. ZOMG I was stoked! He even had a bit of salt-and-peppery hair which made the whole package oh-so-fucking-better. We go say our hellos and “nice to meet yous”, and go in for a friendly hug. I could be down for hugging this dude all the time. Oh, and his voice? Matched him! Major points because I’m a weirdo about that type of stuff.

I’m a bit flustered at this point from speed walking over, and totally fumbled the whole “I Have A Reservation”  dialogue with the hostesss.

Yes, I have a reservation for one. Wait, I meant reservation for two at 1 o’clock.”

3D and I laugh a bit then he adds in a, “Wow, you had me worried there. Thought I was already getting dropped before we even get this started.” Ah yes, you’re funny, too.

The hostess leads us to a table for two. Vis-a-vis. We kick things off smoothly with the small talk and the conversation throughout the entire lunch was fantastic! He’s in the process of looking for a new place so we talk about the “joys” of apartment hunting on busy schedules.

I’m going to pause here and add in how freakishly thrilled I am that he is also as busy with work as I am. This could bode well as we could potentially commiserate together, and pretty much not have to worry about feeling bad if we need to push our dinners and dates late. Because the dude will get it.

Conversation turns into what we do for a living. I was absolutely fascinated with this portion of the program because I was learning so much. To top it off, our line of work somewhat overlapped in ways and it was great to talk shop…sorta.

Another observation was that he talked A LOT during lunch. I didn’t really mind at all but it was a total curve ball. I am usually the one taking up a huge share of the conversation pie and here he was BEING ME! I thought it was some unspoken law that guys are supposed to let girls talk about everything under the sun and about ourselves, yadda yadda. Yet here he was with the spotlight on him. This was so new to me! I secretly wanted the imaginary light production guy to start inching that spotlight onto my section of the stage. I do commend him for realizing what he was doing. He even apologized for talking so much. I told him I was totally fine with it. Plus, his storytelling warranted unabridged versions.

We talk about work, friends, biking, owning cats, Florida, Los Angeles, the South, video games, movies, vampire pregnancies, Adam Sandler, more vampire birthing stories, lasering your skin, grease fires, traveling, Skyline chili, Grater’s ice cream, Siri, silver coat hangers for vampire fetus abortions, and sharks. We even compared our freckles!! And I even start to have awesome deja vu moments in mid conversation. It was amazing!

Then the dude starts to bring up OKCupid battle scars. I guess this always has to come up on OKCupid dates because we’re all on it so why not share battle stories, right? And dudes always bring it up! Is this also their way to gauging what they are dealing with? I know that guys and girls have it different on the site so I can see why dudes want to have a peek into how many dates girls go on and whatever. Especially because the dudes tend to be the ones messaging more often and getting rejected more often than ladies…or so I’ve been told based on some random statistical facts on online dating.

So he asks me about how my dating experience has been so far. I answer but try to keep it a bit vague. Gotta keep some mystery going on. He then asks to see if I’d had some weird dates. This is where I chuckle a bit, sigh and proceed to give him the Reader’s Digest version of the Swingers-Answering-Machine dude (blog post forthcoming.) His eyes widen  and he picks up his iPhone like a tape recorder: “Note to self. Do not call her a million times and leave her creepy messages.”

He then proceeds to tell me about his “worst” date.

“Never bring a friend to a date. Better yet, never bring a friend who is more extroverted and more attractive than you.” Yikes. He also referenced how some girls start talking about wanting babies. MAJOR YIKES!

I joke about wanting his sperm in a cup. No biggie.

Then he asks me if I had given my friends a heads up of where we were meeting, what he looked like, etc.  I laugh but he says it’s totally cool because his girl friends do the same thing with him.

Well, sir. As a matter of fact I did! Before I came out here I provided my best friend with you name, phone number, link to your OKCupid profile and where we were going to meet…just in case you were thinking of kidnapping me. Oh, and I also let them know that you looked like a certain actor just in case you delete your profile and they need to identify you in a police line-up.”

He was impressed! Then I told him how it comes in handy especially when I am dumb and decide it’s a good idea to meet dudes at their homes. “Because at the time it feels right. I’m in this ballsy mood where I think to myself You know what? This is the night I am going to die. But it’s totally cool for you, right, because you’re a guy and don’t really need to worry about this stuff seeing as you have a penis and all.”

Obviously this made no sense but we rolled with it and started to recreate a scene (including sound effects) of a penis sword being whipped out to protect 3D from evil! We laughed soooooo fucking hard. Like soooooooooo fucking hard. I had yet to laugh this hard on a recent date! We were on fire!

omg this dude is so awesome

Brunch is winding down. We’re getting drowsy from all our Bloody Marys. (BTW is this the correct plural spelling of the drink?) It’s been about 2 hours. It’s time for us to close up shop.

Check arrives. Moment of truth.

In my experiences dates are true blue dates when dudes pay for me. Call me old fashioned but it’s mainly how I roll especially in the beginning. (I’ll treat you to a drink or two later in the evening but we’re talking main paying point here). But even if I insist I won’t get offended if they step up and offer to pay. Old school dating rules, right?

I start to fumble in my purse for my wallet and he goes for his. I whip out my credit card and start to reach for the bill. He makes a grab for it. Okay…good sign. Then he shows it to me and says, “Split it down the middle?”

OH
MY
GAWD
THIS
WAS
LIKE
THE
KISS
OF
DEATH
FOR
ME

CUE SCREECHING TIRES
CUE FOG HORNS
CUE VOMIT SOUNDS

Going Dutch is fine but not on a first date, sir! When I go Dutch on a first date it’s usually because I want to make it clear that this is going down the platonic route or I simply don’t want to see you again.

I started to cringe and die inside a little. But wait. He’s thrown me different curve balls throughout the date so…maybe this is one of them?

Time to leave. He walks with me a bit as I head back to my car because he wanted to check out the bike store on the way there.

BUT
HE

DID
NOT
WALK
ME
TO
MY
CAR

Do I dock him more points for not going all the way with me? Is this some weird symbolic moment where if he doesn’t walk me all the way then we aren’t going to go all the way?!  NO FOURTH BASE ACTION?! (Remind me to tell you about this baseball metaphor convo at the airport between a father and son in the security line). Nevertheless, I am a bit taken a back. Damn my set expectations!

And when I had asked him about the Underground Rebel Bingo thing tonight, saying how I thought it sounded cool, I thought maybe…MAYBE he would ask me to come with him because he had suggested that as a first date option earlier in the game. And you know…because he’d like to hang out again and he had an extra ticket. And he just said, “Yeah, we may still have an extra ticket but they might still be selling tickets at the door. Maybe I’ll see you there.”

Ack! Was he asking me to go? Should I have asked for that extra ticket? I was on the fence about it but I WISH HE HAD PROPERLY ASKED ME TO JOIN! That way I’d be able to move that needle into “PROMISING LAND”. But I also didn’t play this right, either. So we call this a draw?

We hug each other goodbye, say it was nice to finally meet, and walk our separate ways.

Good grief. Put a fork in me. I am donezo. I am already starting to enter the over-analytical-zone that I dread getting sucked into with every fiber of my being! And I feel dirty about it.

I mean, it wasn’t a BAD  date but all sure signs of a second date were dissolving. I thought I had this in the bag! Drats. He’s keeping me on my toes, though. It’s the universe saying, “You can’t always have it easy, dear. You can’t always have your way. It’s not black and white. This is the Gray album, son!”

I drove home kinda bummed.

Decided to run errands, grab coffee because I was konking out, and then look for a Christmas tree at Larchmont. As I was weaving through the trees at the Christmas tree loft, stomping on leaves, pouting, and kicking hay around, my phone buzzed.

Wait a minute. Could this be a glimmer of hope, my friends?
I let him know that I had a lovely time at lunch, too, because I honestly did.

You’re funny, dude. 🙂

We continue to text a bit back and forth about my tree and about how my cat is going to be attacking said tree over the next few weeks.

I know I should just wait and see what happens. For all I know he is just playing it cool and a second date is afoot. But why do I still have a weird feeling about this? My instincts are usually spot on hence my apprehension.

Side Note: Anytime I come across the term “apprehension” I think of the episode of Full House where Michelle learns about the word. This was around the time Uncle Jesse has his panic attack from the realization that he is going to be a father. He was “apprehensive”.

But cripes! What if he is just being nice and letting me down easy…because he’s nice and I’m nice. Everyone’s kiss-of-death nice! Must. Stop. Over. Thinking. This.

*Shakes fists in the air*

I am on the fence on how this is going to pan out. He could be on the fence about me. “How could anyone be on the fence about you?”, says a friend of mine. I KNOW, RIGHT? I’m a fucking catch!

And this is where I am reminded that dating, while really fun, can really blow. HARD!

I challenge the universe to prove me wrong on all this hullabaloo.

Level 5 Ninja

29 Nov

To be quite honest, I wasn’t even that into him at first. This was sometime in mid-September. It was still my maiden voyage on the OKCupid seas and his profile kept popping up in my suggested matches.

He wasn’t exactly “my type”. But maybe this was the time to venture out of my tall-&-lanky-hipster-dude box and try something new.

But I was intrigued nonetheless. He was pretty cute. Some pictures were questionable. Most seemed “outdated” but all in all, a good crop of photos.

And he was a skydiver – perfect timing because I had been itching to jump out of plane so maybe his expertise would come in handy. But, like, every dude and their mother had skydiving photos so what makes him so special?

I did enjoy his profile. And was did have a soft spot for Jenga…

By the Numbers:

  • Match: 89%
  • Friend: 86%
  • Enemy: 3%

He sized up right in the compatibility department so I proceeded to engage. My message was short and sweet. Referenced his Jenga connoisseur-ness, then left it at that. Bait was set.

And he bit!

Smooth sense of humour? Check!

And so it began.

We literally sent each other these long, drawn out messages filled with getting-to-know-each-other questions, peppered with flirtatious teasing. It was all engaging. I loved “talking” to him because he was one of the rare guys on the site I could actually have decent interactions with. It was effortless and I looked forward to his responses, finding out about his days or weekends, learning more and more about him…getting skydiving tips! God, I sound like a fucking Hallmark movie but that’s how it was! Honest to goodness 21st Century, modern day courting.

After a few weeks I think we graduated to OKC IMs shortly after. Live -time banter.

Joked about his loft Downtown.

Did quick inventory of our liquor stash.

He sips his scotch. I drink my wine.

It was nearly 2am on a Sunday and he invites me over.  Joking? Maybe. As tempted as I was I proposed that we make plans for another night.

Let’s check our calendars.

Free all way except Friday.

Mirror schedules.

Let’s dovWednesday, he says. October 5th. He somehow convinced me to go Downtown. His ‘hood.

We’d get drinks. I was down.

And so it was done. In the books.

And the “good nights” were good.