Tag Archives: parachute

riding his rig

16 Nov

Guffaw, my friends!

I’m leaving my office tonight and see a text message pop up from the Skydiver. Gah! My fucking kryptonite! My BIG! (<–My only SATC reference in this one – scout’s honor).

Making my way down the parking garage ramp I had to do a double take because his message was so¬† not what I expected…but it totally is something I would get from him.

This boy has some kooky ways of seducing a kooky girl and I’m am just getting reeled in! But I’m still somewhat perplexed. I mean, is he forreal? I’m oddly turned on. But it is a legitimate question coming from him so you never know.

I’m about to barrel into some silly traffic yet here I am, iPhone in my right hand, steadying the steering wheel with my left, gearing up for a booty call. But I have so much to do tonight! Am I really going to make my way Downtown to sit on his rig…and then some?!

Flirty banter is on high alert. I’m totally into it and I’m totally into him. I told him I may be interested in making an appearance tonight. Then I make some flimsy comment about how I’d only come over if he met my rider demands (har har) then realized what I said and added in a bit about a bowl full of nothing but green M&M’S.

But I can sense where this is headed. And he is doing it again! SILENCE! You’d think my dummy joke about a celebrity rider would get a chuckle. I’m chuckling about it again right now just thinking about it.

He fucking sets the stage, jerks off to his American Psycho ways, then drinks his own jizz in a protein shake. This is his M.O. Catch him if you can…

I’m a cat chasing the red laser. Part of me is glad this didn’t go down because this girl is dealing with a cold. However, the other part of me was rearing to throw it down on yards of parachute material! I had no shame in passing on my germs and ruining his week – no big deal.

Someone just hose me down. He will be the end of me…and I can’t stop! I should just take my own parachute pack, jump out & away, and pull the cord.