i am robot. hear me flirt.

16 Dec

Apparently robots are all about trying to get some with me. I picture some dude speaking into some automated translator or something. And this dude’s profile photo can be filed under serial killer mug shots.


[#FileUnder: Ignore]



Crashing the Party

16 Dec

How I am up at 7ish in the AM post company holiday party is beyond me. I apologize in advance to what could be a lame post by a slightly hungover me. And let me just say that last night was so amazing! My friend and I got all gussied up – got our hair all did, got the face all made up. Seriously, I could get used to getting pampered and dolled up on the regular like that. And the dress my friends picked up earlier in the week was so fun! A ton of investment went into all of this [cue my hand motioning up and down by body]. And that was when I thought (and my friends thought) that 3D needed to see me in all my glory!

Of course we were texting all night then I finally thought, “Fuck it. He doesn’t live that far from this venue so I shall ask him to come by.” And I did. And he accepted my invite! He was finally home, about to have a quiet evening and recover from being sick and in pain from some face procedure. And that was a main reason I didn’t think he would come because he was still healing. BUT HE FREAKING PULLED THROUGH!

Enter my resourcefulness because now I had to find him an extra wristband to get in!

I made my way over to the hostess table and gave it to them straight.
“Look. I gave my extra guest wristband to my best friend. I know all guests need a wristband but I’ve started seeing this guy and I REALLY want him to stop by and see me looking like THIS. I know this sounds stupid but I really like him and just want to see him so bad tonight. So can you two gals help a girl out?”

At first I sensed some hesitation but after much pouting on my end I see one of them dig under the podium and slyly hand me a wristband. HOW MUCH DID I LOVE THEM AT THAT MOMENT! The other girl leaned over, winked and said she completely understood and that she had been in my position before. I enthusiastically hugged both of them and promised to make it count.

About half an hour later the hostess finds me at the bar and asks if I knew a [insert his name here]. He made it! I pranced over to the podium, grinning from ear to ear. He saw me and, naturally, I twirled to give him the full effect of my dress. I must say he was quite impressed. GOOD! All my friends were saying that I was a knockout and I was going to get mileage all night.

Liquid courage was flowing through my system so I grabbed his hand and made our way over to my crew. I was the happiest clam in the bunch because I had my guy on my arm.

We made the rounds. We danced our hearts out. (We were both so glad that we both love to dance). He’d get me water to  keep me hydrated. And when we had down time we’d sneak off to a booth and have mad cuddle sessions. (Later in the night we commented on how we thoroughly enjoyed our cuddle fests. And this is huge because I normally don’t like to be affectionate in public.This was BIG!) There were even moments when I sat on his lap while we watched everyone on the dance floor. The liquid courage got stronger and the inner tiger was getting loose. I’d start to wrap one arm around his waist and lay my head on his shoulder. I knew his face hurt a bit so I prefaced my next actions by apologizing in advance for potentially hurting him. Then I did it. I just leaned in and kissed him! Threshold crossed!

Needless to say we kissed throughout the evening – in the booth, on the dance floor, at the bar. Not, like, sloppy kisses because I am a classy lady in front of my work peers. But I was on cloud 9. My friends were also giddy for me as they caught glimpses of the early stages of awesomeness! (And ohmygawd I can’t believe I was so comfortable with the public displays of affection! Who am i?!?!)

Time to turn in. The dude offered to take me home! But I couldn’t do that to him so I insisted I would just take a cab as originally planned.
“Alright. I will do whatever you want to do.” And that  is when I realized that this may be why he didn’t pay for me on our first date? Because he didn’t want to infringe on my feminism? As I type that out I realize that it sounds so stupid but does that make sense? Whatever.

He walks me to the curb where we were all waiting for our cabs. He held me close because I was a shivering leaf. As I was curled up in his arms he would kiss the top of my head. Gah! I adore him!

Can we just pause and say how freaking amazing it was that he actually came out! FOR ME! He is true blue. Added bonus: everyone loved/loves him. Mmmmhmmmm

#CanIGetARecap: “And if I could I’d just claim you…”

14 Dec

A big kudos to “3D” for willingly throwing himself into the wolves. Actually, my friends are so awesome and I had no doubt that he would fair well in an intimate “dinner party” setting.

For those of you just joining us, I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks now. I use the term “seeing” loosely. What tier of dating is that, exactly? Maybe I should just keep it simple and say, “I’ve been on a few dates with him.” More legit? Okay.

Our third date resulted from an “you-want-to-hang-out-sunday-however-i-have-plans-sunday-evening-but-you-are-welcome-to-come-to-this-dinner-party” kinda thing. I didn’t think he would bite because this meant a third date that would involve my a small group of close friends! That’s serious, right?

3D shows up to my humble abode on time. Gawd, he looked so good and smelled yummy in my doorway. It made me think that he purposefully wore cologne for me because he doesn’t seem like the type who would. However, I could be wrong. It’s nice to think, though. I felt like I was a bit sheepish around him. It both sucks but expected because this is all so new!

We hung out for a bit then headed out to pick up a few things from the store. He offered to drive which was fine and dandy for me because I will not turn down being a passenger. He prefaced this by asking me not to judge him on his car. What is that supposed to mean? I promised him I wouldn’t but then it started to get me worried that he was going to be another guy intimidated by me. So what if I live alone. So what if I drive a yuppie car. I mean, I can be judgey sometimes in jest but I’m a good person. Plus, I like him so I would cut him some slack. 🙂


Car talk involved a recap of my skydiving. I had no idea he had gone skydiving, too, so he was able to understand the feelings I was trying to convey. Perffffff

Grocery store time was oddly cute. He would follow me around with the basket as I got lost in the produce section trying to remember what goes into a good salad. There was also a moment in the wine aisle where we were staring at various bottles of pinot noir and I just wanted to take his hand or rest my head on his shoulder. But I didn’t because I’m a dumb wuss!

Moment of truth was starting to creep up. We started to walk up to my friend’s house and I gave him a quick rundown of who I expected to be there, their names, and basic topline info. “The hostess is [x]. Then there is so-and-so who is my best friend. Her boyfriend, X, will be there, too. He’s badass and could kick your ass if you are mean to me….”. You know…stuff like that. The basics.

We enter the kitchen and all eyes are on us. My friends knew about him and were excited to meet the latest boy. But overall the initial intros were nice. He’s super personable so that made it easy.

I was a bit nervous because I wanted to hang out with him but I also wanted to help make the pasta and fixins. Luckily, he was self sufficient and went into dinner party photographer mode. It was really neat to just have him making his way around the kitchen and snapping shots galore. I’d look up and find the camera on me. I’d smile and he’d wink.

He wasn’t shy, really. I mean, he would join the smokers out on the patio and talk with them while I continued to be confused with the pasta making machine. Then he’d make his way back into the kitchen and stand next to me. I’d place my hand lightly on the small of  his back and peek at the pictures on his camera. But you could sense that we were still shy and fumbling our way through all of this.

At one point my best friend pulled me aside and gave me the official thumbs up. “He’s really cute and super nice! I can tell that he is trying. And [my boyfriend] likes him too!”

Score! I’m glad my nearest and dearest approves. Regardless, I think he is dope 🙂

Another fun part of the evening was when the hostess asked him how we know each other. I was in the living room and I could hear the words float out of her mouth. My sonic hearing kicked into overdrive as I tried to hear what his response would be. I was also laughing inside because I had jokingly told her to put him on the spot and see how he would answer. I moseyed on over to the kitchen where they were and helped them out a bit.

HOSTESS: So, he was just telling me how you two met. Space camp, eh? That’s so interesting!

SIDE NOTE: I had jokingly told HIM that he should tell people that we met at Space Camp just for shits and giggles.

ME: Oh yeah, his dad and my dad knew each other from the military. See “3D” is from Florida and his dad was in the space program. My dad would let me tag along to Florida with him. And he was there. We go way back. Then I find out that he is in LA and decided to hang out.

The Hostess was impressed by how well we were continuing this facade. I’m glad everyone held rank.

Later in the evening once everyone started to trickle out for other engagements and whatnot I found myself on the couch next to him. The hostess and another friend (who had arrived late) joined us in the living room and we just talked for a while. At one point him and I inched closer together, and he took my hand. WHAT?!?! Finally!

He was telling me how he loves giving massages so he started to massage my hand and rub my shoulders. Actually, he was rubbing my shoulders and back throughout the night which was really sweet. I love massages. Way to my heart….and into my pants! Heyo! I got tingles! That first touch is always a big deal!

The hand massages turned into hand holding for the rest of the evening. It was very…sweet. Simple, you know?

As we were leaving the hostess took his camera and wanted to take a picture of us. The collective groans coming from our mouths were priceless! But we sucked it up and posed.

As we turned on my street I started to get a bit anxious. What was going to happen? Was he going to come in to my house? Was he going to kiss me good night? We’re arrive at my house and he might as well should have stabbed me in the face when he said, “Okay, we’re here. I guess I’ll just drop you off.”

WTF man! Seriously?? 

SIDE NOTE: I failed to mention that back at the party I was walking passed him on my way to the kitchen. As he was trying to either put the camera back in his bag or take something out you wanna know what happens next?? A CONDOM…FALLS FLAT…ON THE FLOOR! I caught a quick glance of it and pretended I didn’t see as I casually strolled back into the kitchen. But I heard him kind of chuckle a little like a that-was-embarrassing kinda way.

BUT YES! He has a freaking condom on hand because he is thinking about putting his P in my V yet he won’t even KISS ME! I feel like I’ve reverted back to high school where every action is some milestone! I mean thank goodness we got to the hand holding but jeez! It was our third date. You are allowed to make some moves. Even a little tongue action. No tongue? No problem! I can deal with a close-mouthed kiss. Let’s just make contact with some orifices!

Okay, I kid…kind of. Part of me is super flattered and even more attracted to the fact that he isn’t an asshole trying to just bone. And that we should just enjoy this innocent courting. But then the other part of me wants to have a hot throwdown. Just up against his car, my couch, WHATEVER! But then again my success rate after those little hot numbers hasn’t been so great so maybe this dude is onto something.

Needless to say I said goodbye, got out of his car and slammed the door. Then I stomped across my lawn, shoved my key in the lock, and proceeded to yell a bit in my living room. I was FUMING! What was going on?! I started to pace, muttering, “This isn’t right! Is something wrong? Oh gosh, please don’t let me be some untouchable girl in his eyes. I can’t be someone else’s little doll.  THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!”

I grabbed my phone and texted him two simple words: TURN AROUND.
I threw my phone onto my couch, stormed into my kitchen and poured myself a healthy glass of wine. That motherfucker…he is not going to leave me hanging when we both know we are not going to be able to see each other for a while.

Moments later I hear a tapping on my screendoor. And you would THINK that we would just have some mad makeout session right then and there. BUT NO! BECAUSE WE ARE SO WEIRD! WHAT THE WHAT!?!

I let him in and we hung out on my couch. And I start to care less about that madness and just enjoy being there on that couch with him. I remind myself that I am the most comfortable around him than the other boys. The whole time we’re there he takes my hand or rubs my arms, shoulders, legs…
He’s very much into touch. He even asked me if it bothered me. Normally I am not that touchy feely but I actaully don’t mind him. Nor do I mind when he touches base and checks in. We even paused at one point and commented at how seamless this all was, how comfortable and easy everything is, how goddam cute/hot we are! (HA!)

At some point I moved from leaning my head on his shoulder to laying my head in his lap because I was getting really tired. He just continued to rub my back and run his fingers through my hair as we ask each other the getting-to-know-you questions that are always exciting because this is a brave new world.

It was past 2am and we knew we had to end this. I sat up and wrapped my arms around him for our hug. And it was weird because this was the perfect moment to make SOME move. But nothing happened. Just hugged. I got a quick kiss on the cheek. WHY I DIDN’T JUST MAUL HIM RIGHT THEN AND THERE, AND TAKE INITIATIVE INTO MY OWN HANDS WAS BEYOND ME! I’m kicking myself. Maybe he is being polite and wants me to make the first move? Well, sir, I accept that challenge for next time.

Since then we still “talk” every day. I was even just G-chatting with him a few minutes ago for a before-bed check in.

My teasing and griping about our high school style courtship aside things are fucking amazing. And we have tentative plans for this Saturday! It may even be MY turn to meet HIS friends. (gahhhh).

Shit is getting real.

Christmas Party Blind Date?

12 Dec

I was in San Francisco a few weeks ago on business for a day. This was my first time in another city with OKCupid geo-targeting on my phone so I didn’t realize until later in the day that SF dudes were able to view my profile. I was on their radar!

This bodes well for me because San Francisco guys send me away. This was towards the end of November and the crop of Movember ‘staches around me were, hands down, THE best. LA guys just don’t do Movember as well as the SFers.

Anywho, some guy hits me on via the Locals feature (in beta) because I was in his vicinity and he wanted to “meet up” because he was “interested”. He looked cute but I was on a business trip with one of the C-level execs of our company. I was not going to bounce to meet some random dude! If I was alone then MAYBE but this was not going to happen that day.

Flash forward to this past weekend when I see a message in my Inbox from this same guy.

How random is that?? I guess I popped up in his Locals feature too.
If I wasn’t skydiving that day then I would have considered…maybe. But then I kept getting these somewhat adamant messages from him, wanting to meet up. Then he popped the question.

Christmas party? I’ve never met you! How weird would it have been if I showed up to some stranger’s holiday party. Plus, this holiday party’s theme kinda worried me a bit? But I suppose it would be like crashing a party?

Regardless, this was quite an odd one. But maybe I’m just being a total negative nancy. Bah!

“We Met During Our First Skydives”

11 Dec

Okay, okay! I may potentially start to sound like a horrible person right now. HOWEVER, I was told that I have no right to feel this way.

#Flashback to yesterday when I JUMPED OUT OF A FUCKING PLANE!!!

As I mentioned in my previous post Dude #5 (a.k.a. 3D) was texting me pre and post jump. Totally sweet. Totally supportive when I started to have a mini freak out moment.

But I kinda met a dude at the skydiving facility.

I KNOW! But wait. This dude was all up in my business! Not, like, really up in my vagina but, like, totally into me.

We met while we were getting suited up in our jumpsuits and gear. He was standing near me and I kept catching him looking over at me and smiling. I eventually started to see him inch closer and closer to me. Then he starts to talk to me. We both talk about how this was our first jump, discuss where we were both from…just really good small talk. Not going to lie – this dude was pretty cute. And it was SO OBVIOUS that he was flirting with me. We wish each other luck but are still around each other then were shuffled around by instructors, photographers and videographers. But I’d always catch him looking at me. He was even watching me while I did my interviews with my videographer, and I’d see him smiling at me. (What is going on!)

The whole time in the plane was insane! He was actually sitting next to me but everyone was pretty much in their own zone because, you know, WE WERE ABOUT TO JUMP OUT OF A FUCKING PLANE!

I ran into him post-jump back at the place we suited up. He honed in to me like a fucking laser  beam. More small talk. He asked if I was an actress because I was from Los Angeles (he is from Sn Diego), and because I loved being on camera. I thought this was funny because he even said I looked/sounded like a reporter with the camera following me around.

Boy, not an actress. Just hyper active and a camera whore.

It’s chaos in that tent and everyone is being shuffled around. We managed to introduce each other but I had to go sign more paperwork and preview my video. I thought I would have a chance to talk to him again and possibly exchange information but alas…

While previewing my footage I did see his name on the list and managed to memorize it for Facebook stalking.

When I got him I totally looked him up. I even messaged him letting him know it was nice to meet him.

I told my friends during the car ride home that I felt slightly guilty for talking to him and enjoying it. But then we all agreed that this guilt was silly. I’m still a free woman until 3D asks me to go steady (teenage style). Odd because I don’t feel guilty at all as I message and scope out the dudes on OKCupid. Yet here I was feeling slightly horrible for flirting back with some dude at the drop zone.

But how fucking cool would that be to tell folks that I met my dude during our first skydives! I mean…c’mon, that’s pretty badass!


#CanIGetARecap – True Life: I Watched Twilight Breaking Dawn for a Dude

11 Dec

I sometimes catch myself grinning because this whole thing with Dude #5 is happening so swimmingly, and my smitten kitten levels are rising like woah!

Readers, when we last left off I was FINALLY leaving the office to meet up with 3D. I made a pit stop at CVS and scoured the First Aid aisle for surgical masks because if this dude is true blue then he would be up for silliness like WEARING A GOSH DARN SURGICAL MASK IN PUBLIC FOR ME because he claimed to be sick. (I ended up purchasing a box of 20 masks. What am I going to do with all these masks?!)

I made it to Downtown Culver City and parked at the Trader Joe’s because he had told me on date #1 that his office was directly behind it. I called him to let him know that I just parked and we decided to meet behind TJs. I could sense he was a bit “nervous” and I started to get butterflies myself! I mean, c’mon, any slight movements that night could either make or break it, naw’mean?

My sister kept me company via phone while I wanted because I was cold and needed a distraction. And then I see him walking towards me. (zomg I could see this smile forming on his face and I couldn’t help but grin like a goober because I was starting to have this FLEET of butterflies thrashing inside.)

The movie theater was right across the street so we made our way over, having small talk at the crosswalk. I’m feeling good at this point. We got this!

We both scope out the next Twilight showings and opt for the 9:40pm one. We have about an hour and a half before showtime so it was a perfect window to grab a drink or two.

Okay, so we’re both standing at those self-serve kiosks and are about to purchase our movie tickets. This is where I start to watch him like a hawk. I slowly rummage through my bag and pull out my wallet as he was initiating the transaction. I mean, fuck, he didn’t pay for the entire brunch on date #1 so I was expecting him to choose “1 Ticket”, complete the transaction, and have me teary-eyed if I had to buy my own ticket. But when I saw him choose “2 Tickets” I knew we had this!

Rush was just a few doors down and we find two spots at the bar. Extra dirty martini for me. Whiskey and soda for him.

Cue THE MOST FUN I’VE HAD AT A BAR! Ok, I may be exaggerating but I gotta say that I thoroughly enjoy talking to this dude. We literally had this amazing symbiotic flow going on. (Granted, “symbiotic” is not the right word because we are the same species but you get the point). And the most important part is that we laughed so much! He also gave me the stage for most of the night. At some moments I kept wondering if he is reading this blog because he was improving on all the points I had reservations about.  If that is that case then, um, hey. (Side note: I actually started to get nervous at some point when he had my phone. I was showing him pictures of my cat and then he started to flip through a few pictures on my phone. I had to grab it back lest he see some screenshots of random texts and OKC profiles for this blog. haha Fuck.)

We’re entering second drink mode and I am feeling fantastic. We shared our arrest stories – always a fun convo. At some point we started to talk about watching sports because different games were on the tvs at the bar, and he asked if I watched football. To which I replied that I don’t really follow sports but that I get into them if I’m watching, especially if they are big games like the Super Bowl, World Cup, Olympics, yadda yadda. I don’t know why this made him so happy but all he kept saying was that he wanted to hug me at that moment. He didn’t…but it’s the intent that counts, I suppose 🙂

He pays for our drinks and then slams two markers onto the bar. My eyes lit up like a freaking Christmas tree. I then start to dig through my purse and slam down the box of surgical masks. If my life were a TV show (and it should be) then all the viewers would have been the two of us GLOWING at that moment. Here we were in the face of awesomeness because we are hanging out with another person who is just DOWN to be silly. I start to flash to that scene in Breakfast at Tiffany’s where Holly and Paul steal masks at the 5 and dime, then run off into the streets.

The bartender is somewhat confused at the props we had strewn in front of us. I straighten my back and tell him that we have surgery later that night. I even ask both bartender and date to help me choose surgery gloves (a.k.a mittens) for the evening. Here are two dudes looking at my fingerless versions and straight up mittens. I look over at 3D and he says, “Wear the ones with no fingers. It will be easier for me to hold your hand tonight.”

GAH! I slipped those gloves on so fast! I even put on a “sparkly” sweater because he made a comment a few days beforehand about wanting to see me sparkle like Edward Cullen. When he saw me put it on he was pretty damn amazed that I brought the sparkle factor. We had this!

I wanted popcorn because I was starving. As I was in line engaging with the guy behind the counter I could feel 3D’s hand slightly graze my back. The best part is that I could sense he was being cautious. I start to lean back into his hand for positive reinforcement. But that doesn’t help because I got so fidgety and skipped around the lobby to make my way to the soda fountain. (I should apologize to him in advance because he will rarely get me sitting still)

In the movie theater we make our way to the back. Actually, let me rephrase that. I LED us to the back row because I wanted to be silly without anyone seeing us fidget in our seats. We start to try on the masks and he hands me a Sharpie. I am laughing hysterically at this point and start to draw, nay, ATTEMPT to draw a mustache on his mask. Clearly I was failing so handed him back the marker. He’s an animator for crying out loud! He should duly be in charge of all drawing duties in this relationship. He finished his then drew a skeezy rapist goatee on mine. We were getting high off the fumes – it was bad.

During the entire movie we were giggling so hard and were plain mortified at what was going on before us. Actually, I think he was actually enjoying the movie. I’d look over and see him engaged, and I’d proceed to give him this shocked look. He did come in handy when I’d ask for some background story to fill in the gaps because he knew a bit of what was going on. All in all I HATED the movie but did find it amusing. The movie is HILARIOUS because it is SO BAD! At some points he would lean in and apologize profusely. I’d even catch him whisper, “Oh God, I really need to make this up to you. I am soooooo sorry.” I am still laughing so hard because we were still wearing our masks. I was so happy. The movie ended and  I tell him that I was using him as the excuse as to why I watched this movie. My friends need to know that it was all his idea. Apparently he was doing the same. “Girls dig this movie so, yeah, I’m taking her to see it because she wants to.”

Okay, so I thought FOR SURE that he was going to put the moves on me during the movie. But no. No reaching for my hand. No cheesy arm around my shoulder. No attempt to even kiss me through our masks! But he still needs to walk me to my car so I had some hope.

Then we get to my car. Actually, we get to the level where my car was parked and I make my way over to a yellow corvette that clearly was not mine. His eyes widen when we sees me start to shake the door handles, trying to get in. Bold moves.

We eventually stand by my car and go in for some hugs. I thought for sure he would kiss me here. But no. And I couldn’t bring myself to do it because it was starting to feel awkward. But boy did I want to kiss him right then and there. I could sense he was thinking the same thing so we just continued to shuffle around and have more small talk. We actually started to talk about my tattoo – another good convo topic.We go in for ANOTHER hug. STILL NOTHING! I give up at that point. As he walked away he turned around and held up his mask. “Next time we’ll have to try kissing each other with these on.”

WHAT!?! He’s just teasing me at this point!

On the ride home I text him:
ME: “I can’t believe you are making me wait for our junior high make out party!
HIM: Oh it is NOT by choice. If my mouth didn’t taste like a chalky lozenge I’d have gone all Edward Cullen on yo ass 😉
HIM: Ugh…I can’t believe I just said that…

I am actually kinda glad nothing happened. I am rather enjoying that we are going slow. I’ve been used to jumping right in to X, Y and Z with other dudes so this is so refreshing! It’s really sweet. My new concern now is that he may feel pressured to go big or go home next time we see each other! Then it gets all weird and awkward and forced. Bleh.

We will have to see next time (read: TODAY).

Yeah, he totally asked me out for a THIRD date. It’s today. Best part? He is crashing a small friend gathering. We are making pasta (like MAKING pasta) and having dinner/drinks at a friend’s house. Moment of truth! He will be around my small group of core friends! He will see how I am in my element. And my friends are going to scrutinize him like woah…it’s going to be amazing. He has also volunteered to be our photographer for the evening which is nice of him.

So now I need to fucking clean my lil’ home and make it presentable. I’m pretty excited to see him again. We both are!

Added bonus? We “talk” (read: text) everyday throughout the day. He’s been good about initiating and checking in with me. I kind of like this. My heart does somersaults when I see his name pop up on my phone. Everything is going so well! He even helped calm me down when I started to have a mini freak out moment minutes before I was about to jump out of a plane. He was super supportive. The entire exchange was disgustingly sweet. It was, like, total BF duty!

keep your hands (and saliva) to yourself

7 Dec

I’m about to pack up and leave the office in a bit for date #2 with “3D”.

Giddy is an understatement but this evening may bode interesting because I am starting to feel a bit bleh so I’ll have to keep my shenanigans to a minimum. Oddly enough I get a text from him late this afternoon. It did not start off well and my heart actually sank when I started to read that he was feeling under the weather. I thought he was cancelling on me. Cripes!

(BTW How are we the same [sick] person??)

[because time is of the essence, no text message screenshots but good old fashioned snippets of how this convo went down]

HIM: I want to see you and see this movie, but if you can’t afford to risk it I understand. I’ll do my best to keep my hands and saliva to myself 😉

Naturally all I think is, “Man! No make out sesh?”

ME: Well I would still like to see you. We will have to just skip the junior high make out session at the back of the theater (womp womp)

HIM: You drink your martini. I’ll drink my vodka redbull. This can only end well!

Needless to say our date is still a go..
I tell him that he can still hold my mitten’d hand.
I’m also buying him a surgeon mask which he willingly offers to wear if I actually supply one. And I will. And I will need to take a photo of him donning said mask with our custom Sharpie-markered mustache.

My smitten level rises after I have to break the news to him that I may have to work a bit later because he probably said what I kinda consider one of the sexiest things he can actually say to me right now.

HIM: Please, no worries. I can always work more, haha. I dig the fact that you seem so busy actually because my job is often a time suck

UM, did I NOT freaking say this same exact thing HERE?!?! Seriously. This is my foreplay.

He is pretty thrilled that I was so understanding as I let him know that I share a similar lifestyle where I often have to work later and profusely apologies to friends that I am running late.

Alright, off to resist the urge to make out with a semi-sick dude.