Archive | January, 2012

peas and carrots

2 Jan

New Year. Fresh Start.

I had the entire week off last week. It was absolutely glorious! Not only did I get to spend time with my family and friends but I also spent practically every day with “3D”. Like…every single day. Minus Christmas, of course but yeah…pretty much spent the entire break together.

It’s freaking crazy! It didn’t occur to me until someone asked but we have been dating for a month now! It’s been so pleasant. I’m actually really happy we got to spend the week together – sans work, sans worries.

For those curious – the brunch with my sister on Christmas Eve went swimmingly. Granted, my sister and I were hungover (her more so) but we all had a grand time. I even got the stamp of approval from my sister who stated that he is the guy version of me.

He even came to my post-holiday game night.
And we hung out at his new place.
And we were lazy beach ones.
And he crashed at my place.
And we spent a few days at Lake Arrowhead together with my friends!! (If we didn’t go to Arrowhead we were actually thinking of driving up the coast and getting lost in the Bay Area).

But let’s back up and revel in the fact that this dude has spent so much time with me AND my friends! Like…that’s HUGE! He’s even met my sister. AND he almost met my mom. HE WANTED TO MEET MY MOM!

And can we also pause at the fact that he and I spent a weekend away together?! Full on vacay status with this dude. WE ARE A FUCKING COUPLE! Not gonna lie. I am actually diggin’ this. I thought it would be weird but we are so comfortable together that it was not awkward. I never felt like I was “trapped in the woods” with him.

Common themes: everyone has come up to me on separate occasions and mentioned how we look cute together. My friends also love him. And everyone has told me that they genuinely sense that he is so into me. This makes me happy because I actually like this fella’. It’s also obvious that this dude CANNOT keep his paws off of me. I mean, I do the same but he is sooo touchy feely. The funny thing is that I typically cannot stand PDA. But I find myself leaning into him more, letting him take my hand, kiss the top of my head, and just plain ol’ hold me like I’m the only thing that matters. And he holds me in bed without making me feel smothered. I don’t find myself setting a timer in my head for cuddle sessions. WHO HAVE I BECOME!?!?!


Did I mention that we pretended to be married at Arrowhead? We had to fill out some forms when we went snow tubing, and the adult forms had lines for “Adult” & “Spouse”. He totally played along and even let me sign with his last name. I hyphenated, of course, but can we pause again at how this did not feel weird at all for him or me?! We even joked about me taking half of everything. “What’s mine is yours.”

We didn’t spend New Year’s Eve together. We briefly discussed it but both agreed that we should do our own things. Plus, he hadn’t seen his friends in forever so I couldn’t force him to be part of my group yet again. While I was a bit bummed about it I was ultimately glad we did our own thing. He did text me at midnight ON THE DOT to wish me a Happy New Year. I had told him earlier that day that I would do the same, maybe even call him. But I didn’t because I was too occupied. And when I looked down at my phone I felt like such an asshole. I texted him back and let him know I was late but that I missed him. And I did. It was kinda funny how everyone was asking about him, wondering why we weren’t together. We wanted to do our own thing! Ain’t nothing super wrong with that. Right?

However, I did feel a bit horrible because right around midnight I had spotted my unrequited love across the room at the party. And he saw me. And his face lit up as he rushed over to where I was standing. We looked at each other, smiling, and counted down for our epic reunion. “3, 2, 1” and I was in his arms above the ground. It hurt so good! We professed that we missed each other’s faces, that we still loved each other’s hearts and brains. He told my friends about our divorce. The divorce that still lingers in my blood.

In addition to opening up old wounds I also found myself enjoying the attention I got from the dapper fellas at the party! I was on fire! And I was so close to straying a bit too far but I stopped myself because it 3D did the same thing I would be devastated! DAMN THAT DOUBLE STANDARD!!

Which brings me to the new question popping in my head: What are we doing?

I don’t think he is dating anyone else. And I’ve mainly been seeing him over these past few weeks. I haven’t even had the urge to log on to OKCupid despite the many messages and alerts I’ve been receiving. So what now? Am I supposed to bring something up? Is he supposed to bring something up? I “committed” to a date or two with some other folks before the break. Do I cancel them? I want to but part of me wants to still go on them…but it would only be to tell me what I already know. Gah!

Today was the first day we didn’t really talk all day and it made me a bit uneasy. WHO AM I BECOMING?!?!

That was my holiday break with the dude in a nutshell. More nitty gritty to come when I am not so brain dead.