Catch Me If You Can

17 Dec

Okay, for those of you who know me in real this…IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN!

I woke up this morning and had a mini “panic attack”. This whole thing with 3D could really be happening and turn into SOMETHING. And just like clockwork I had my panic-over-fact-that-this-is-so-easy-and-i-am-getting-what-i-want-but-am-i-ready-for-it-oh-gawd-do-i-want-it. Not the exact sentiment but you get the picture.

It’s the CHASE!

I should be happy with no doubts but then there is that biting feeling inside.

And this is why I’ve been single for a while…

In college I was very much into this guy in my French class. I would pine for him, sit next to him, we became friends, I’d get all giddy when he would take me out for ice cream or some sort of delectable dessert. Huge crush.

Then one day after he dropped me off at my dorm after a cheesecake run he sent me a text. It was something along the lines of, “I miss you already…” or whatever. I saw that and panicked! FULL ON PANIC! I ran to one of my besties on the floor and showed him the text.

He was happy for me! But then saw how pale my face was.

In that very instance I was over my crush…because I got him. And the thrill was gone. I saw him in class the next day and I couldn’t look at him. There he was after putting himself out there and being vulnerable for me, and I fucking crap on it!

Ugh – what is wrong with me?!

Why do people always want what they can’t have. Why must I/we want things to be complicated. Gawd, I sound so trite just typing that out. But it’s an age old story

Snap out of it, me! I see 3D in a few hours. Leisurely bike ride together. How disgustingly cute are we?


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